Projections - Movie Reviews

Gigli

Gigli

If you're in love with Jennifer Lopez's body (and clearly she is) you might enjoy this messy drama.

Ben Affleck plays Larry Gigli (pronounced as if it rhymes with really), a small time thug who is short on his payments to the mob.  To make up for it the mob boss gives him a job to do: kidnap the mentally challenged brother of a federal prosecutor and hold him at his apartment for a few days.

Ricky (Lopez) soon shows up at Larry's door sent by the boss to keep an eye on him since he's considered such a screw-up.  If the mobster doesn't trust him in the first place, you might ask, why not have Ricky do the job alone?  That's just one of many questions you'll have along with "what am I doing here"!

Ricky is a beautiful enforcer who practices yoga, wears skimpy outfits and is a lesbian, which kind of puts a halt to any romantic future for the two characters.

Director Martin Brest seems to have had trouble deciding if this was a comedy, a drama or a romantic farce.  There are painfully long scenes where the characters either hang around the apartment sniping at one another or drive around in Larry's convertible with the top down - which is another strange thing since the kidnaping is all over the news.  I guess the thing to do is drive around with the young man sitting big as life in the back seat of a flashy car.

Lainie Kazan is an embarrassment as Larry's mother.  We are treated to her ample thong-draped rear end peaking above her pants as her son gives her a shot and we get to view it more than once.  Christopher Walken also shows up in a baffling scene where he's a cop investigating the kidnaping and he comes storming into Larry's apartment ranting and raving about odd, nonsensical things.  It really says something about a script when even Walken, an actor known for strange characters, comes off looking odd and out-of-place.

A lot of movie-goers will probably be interested in the chemistry between the two now engaged stars.  Well, the only love affair that I could detect was the one that Affleck and Lopez had with themselves.  A scene of Lopez going through a number of sexy yoga gyrations while discussing the female anatomy in the most gross way, and one of Affleck pumping up his biceps while preening in the bathroom mirror, are both unnecessary and totally self-serving.  In fact, the two seem to be aware of the camera at all times.

My only advice if you want to see Ben and J. Lo together, tune on the entertainment news and leave this mess alone.

 
Frank
Chris
Tony
Jim
Howard
Jennifer
Kathleen
Avg.
Gigli
D
D
 
D-
D
 
C
D
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